Double Standards

I often ask my children (6 & 8 years old) when they're pitching a fit, complaining or crying about something, if they're doing it the hard way or the easy way.  My point being we often wind up doing things the hard way simply because it's our way.  Unfortunately, I think I see that in myself all too often.  I question God often, and I don't think it's a bad thing, because I try to listen for an answer and not just vent. 

Today, I was bemoaning the lousy day I felt I had and asking God why my day was so bad.  Reflecting back on some particular lapses in judgment (sins) recently, I thought "I guess that this is your justice."  Then, for some reason, I realized that while I pray for justice for others, like my ex-wife, I don't pray for justice for myself.  And, conversely, while I pray for mercy for myself, I don't pray for mercy for select others.

I reluctantly came to the conclusion that if I'm going to pray for mercy for myself, that I ought to pray for mercy for others - no matter who or why or how hard I think it is.  To be honest, I didn't really like that realization.  I still don't like it.  But I believe that this is what God told me to do.  And, I realized as well, that I've been doing things the hard way by trying to do things my way.

Biblically, there is a good foundation for this reasoning, and a very simple one as well - and most of us are aware of it since it comes from the Lord's Prayer.  "Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us." (Luke 11:4)  That's a tall order.  Basically, I am to ask God for His forgiveness, only to the degree to which I forgive others.  I don't like that.  I'd rather there be a relative scale, but there isn't.  It's very cut and dry - forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

Another applicable reference is found in Matthew 18, with the parable of the unmerciful servant.  In short, the parable is about a ruler who forgave the massive debts of one of his subjects.  That subject, however, also had someone indebted to him.  When the one who owed the subject the debt asked for mercy for what was a mere fraction of what the subject owed the ruler (and that the ruler had just forgiven), the subject refused and had him thrown in jail.  When the ruler learned of this he had his subject called in, berated him, and had him thrown in jail and tortured (more than the subject had done to his debtor, which was only jail - the ruler had his subject jailed AND tortured) - because he didn't respond with the mercy that he had been shown.  I've heard that story dozens of times, but not until tonight did I really realize the gravity of it and how common such double standards are - even, unfortunately, in my own life.  The last sentence of that story is this - "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."  (Matt 18:35)  Dang.  I really didn't want to hear that.

So, my new goal, instead of just praying for my ex-wife or others against whom I harbor some grudge - justified or not - is to pray for them in the same way I pray for myself.  It's not what I want to do, honestly.  But it's what I believe I ought to do.  And I believe that as I do it it will come more easily and I will be able to truly forgive as Christ has forgiven us.  It's a tall order, but He won't ask us to do something He won't enable us to do.

My challenge to you, then, is the same and to come to the same realization of what the Lord calls us to do.  It's not easy.  But it's a lot easier than doing it the hard way!